


(the trick is to) keep breathing

by TheBookDinosaur



Series: andromeda tonks [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: HPFT, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 05:32:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8610649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBookDinosaur/pseuds/TheBookDinosaur
Summary: She knows the human heart And how to read the stars Now everything's about to fall apart





	

**Author's Note:**

> title and summary come from the Garbage song The Trick is To Keep Breathing

They come to your home in the middle of the night, Remus and Nymphadora, with baby Teddy. They beg you to take him for them, just for tonight, and if anything happens –

No, you cut them off, because you can’t bear to even think about the possibility of anything happening to them. And what if you'd wanted to fight, had they considered that? They hadn't, if the shocked-quiet look on their faces is enough to go by. But yes, you say, relenting, you will take Teddy. Just for tonight, do they understand?

They do understand, and they smile and hug you and Nymphadora runs around the house like a madwoman, throwing clothes and other necessities – food, rolls of toilet paper, nappies, water, galleons – into your favourite tote bag. When you ask what she’s doing, she pauses and hands the bag to you, and makes you promise to go somewhere far away if the battle should go the wrong way. She makes you promise to keep Teddy safe, no matter what, and you promise, carefully focusing on how long it’s going to take to unpack all this and put it away neatly, because you can’t bear to think of the situation where you might actually need to use the bag.

You manage to stop your voice shaking as you say goodbye, but they don’t hide their shaking hands as easily when they hug you and kiss Teddy and Apparate away.

You’re left in your own living room with a blue-haired baby in your arms, trying your best to choke back the tears building up in the back of your throat and behind your eyes.

In your arms, Teddy sleeps peacefully.

* * *

As the sun begins to creep over the horizon, as slow as you’ve ever seen it, afraid to look upon what may have happened during the night, you can hear the pop of successful Apparition and hurry downstairs.

Dedalus Diggle and Bill Weasley and Hagrid are all downstairs, practically giddy with joy. They try to hide it, out of respect, but they don't do a very good job, and why should they? They’ve won, Harry Potter is the saviour of Hogwarts and Voldemort is dead like any other man – they all call him Voldemort now, without fear of any repercussion – that the world is safe again, and, and, and –

You know what the answer is. You ask them where Nymphadora is anyway.

Fo the first time, they look truly unhappy, and it feels like your world is shattering.

* * *

Your daughter died bravely, Bill Weasley says gently as you stand on the staircase leading up to Teddy’s room feeling like you’ve grown a hundred years older, gripping the banister as though it’s a lifeline. She fought to the end, and her body is in the Great Hall at the moment, do you want to come and see?

What about Remus? you ask them. Teddy is his son as well, and while you don’t love him to the depth that you love Nymphadora – he’s a good man. Nymphadora loves (loved) him, Sirius had adored him. You could raise Teddy with Remus, probably. That wouldn’t be the worst situation.

Their silence says everything, and Bill Weasley steps forward again. He’s in the Great Hall as well. Bill Weasley isn’t sure how he died, but he was fighting until the end. You don’t really care, you want to go upstairs and break something, but you nod and say that yes, you’ll come to the Great Hall. You owe this to them, don’t you?

* * *

They are laid out together. That’s perfectly fitting – the two of them holding hands, even in death. Teddy, in your arms, is terribly annoyed to have to be awake so early, but you think that he would want to see his parents as well, here and now. Even if he doesn’t remember, you know that when he’s older, it’ll bring him comfort to know that at least he saw his parents. You’ll bring him to their funeral, as well.

You turn his head to look at your daughter and her husband, but he seems more interested in the ceiling of the Great Hall, where the stars have dimmed and the sky has lightened.

* * *

There is always a reason to keep breathing. You know that. It’s one breath in and one breath out, and sometimes you only have one reason but one reason is enough.

When your family disowned you, your reason was Ted, and your love, and soon, Nymphadora. When Ted left to avoid the Muggleborn Registration Committee, it was Nymphadora, and how you had to take care of her as she fell in love with a man who was afraid to love her back.

Now? Now, your reason is Teddy, who’s fallen asleep again.


End file.
